Dear Aristotle: My Grandson Liked My Casserole Once

My Grandson Liked My Casserole Once

Aristotle Replies

Aristotle, Greek philosopher and student of Plato (384 to 322 BC)

Dear Casseroled in Cleveland,

Dear Casseroled in Cleveland, I have spent my life studying the good life, and I never expected it to hinge on a baked dish of noodles. Still, I see two mistakes in your letter, one on each side of a perfectly sensible woman. Let me show you the middle road between them.

Your first mistake is too much hope. One cheerful remark from a boy with a full mouth became a lifelong verdict. As I wrote in my Nicomachean Ethics, "One swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day." Neither does one second helping. Your second mistake is the opposite: six trays in the freezer, built on a single data point. You have gone from trusting too little evidence to ignoring plenty.

Virtue lives in the mean, and so does a good Sunday dinner. Do not serve the casserole every week, and do not banish it in disgrace. Serve it now and then, among other dishes, and watch what he does over many Sundays, not one. A boy's appetite is a weather pattern, not a promise. Treat his toast request as information, not an insult. Hospitality is judged by the whole season.

This week, ask him to name three dinners he truly likes, and cook one without expectations. Let the freezer trays wait their turn. If he cheers, enjoy it as one pleasant swallow. If he asks for toast, give him toast. A grandmother who can laugh at a tray of leftovers is already happy.

— Aristotle

Aristotle was born in 384 BC in Stagira, in northern Greece. He studied for about twenty years at Plato's Academy in Athens, then tutored the young Alexander of Macedon. Later he founded his own school, the Lyceum, where he and his students studied everything from logic and ethics to biology and politics. The Nicomachean Ethics, his best-known work on how to live well, argues that good character comes from practice and from finding the sensible middle between extremes. He died in 322 BC in Chalcis, and his ideas still shape how we think about habits and virtue.

Try This Today

Pick one thing you have judged lately on a single data point: a coworker's mood, a restaurant, a relative's tone. Write it down, then give it three more chances before you decide anything. Keep a tally on a sticky note. Notice how often the first impression holds up, and how often the summer turns out to be a very different season.

Your Turn

What is one conclusion you have drawn from a single good or bad day, and what would a full season of evidence tell you?