Dear Aesop: My Neighbor Keeps Borrowing My Ladder

My Neighbor Keeps Borrowing My Ladder

Aesop Replies

Aesop, legendary Greek fabulist (c. 6th century BC)

Dear Lent-Out in Lansing,

A ladder that travels to a third man is no longer a ladder. It is a public service. Let me tell you a quick tale. A beaver lent her best branch to a heron, who lent it to a frog, and by spring the beaver was building her dam out of apologies. Here is the part you will not expect: the heron was never the problem.

The problem is the yes that left your mouth before your mind arrived. Your neighbor is simply a man who accepts what is offered. The goat in my fable jumped into the well because he did not think about the way out. His lesson is mine: "Look before you leap." You leaped at the first request, and you are still down in the well, politely calling for your ladder.

So fetch it back kindly and plainly, and look first next time. Walk over with a friendly face and say, "I need my ladder Saturday morning, so I will carry it home at nine." Name the day and the hour. Then carry it yourself, because easy returns beat hopeful ones. Going forward, pause three seconds before any lending. Ask what for, and for how long. Three seconds is cheap, and ladders are not.

This week, pick the day and the hour, walk over, and bring your ladder home. Tape a strip of bright paper to it with your name and phone number. Then practice one sentence for the next request: "Let me check and get back to you." The beaver wishes she had known it. The heron, I suspect, already did.

— Aesop

Aesop is traditionally described as a Greek storyteller of the 6th century BC, and many ancient writers say he was born enslaved. Little about his life is certain, and that includes the exact tales that were truly his. What we do have is a large body of short animal fables, passed along by word of mouth and later gathered by many writers. Each one ends with a plain moral. They have survived for more than two thousand years because children and adults alike can remember them, and because the foxes, goats, and hares in them behave just like people we know.

Try This Today

Today, make a short list of everything you have lent out: tools, dishes, books, casserole carriers. Next to each item, write who has it and the day you will ask for it back. Then choose one item and retrieve it this week. Finally, practice saying out loud, "Let me check and get back to you," so it comes easily next time.

Your Turn

What is one thing you have said yes to lately without thinking, and what would a three-second pause have let you ask first?