The Weirdest and Most Unfortunate Names of All Time

Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, these names are so unusual and bizarre you’ll never believe they’re real.

It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane

Did this guy come straight from the DC universe?

Now That’s A Mouthful

This person probably had a difficult time fitting their name on a Scantron.

Ham About You

“I’ll have the Laura Hamm and cheese, please.”

Your Vote Counts

It must have been a nightmare when Oliver Loser was running for local council.

So Many Questions

Was he taken into custody for scat singing?

Enlightened Scholar

Lord Brain was clearly just fulfilling his own destiny by writing this book.

It’s All In A Name

At least people no longer have to ask him what he does for a living.

I Can See The Future

Krystal Ball could have easily made a profit as a boardwalk psychic.

Out On Bail

This guy’s parents were doing the long-con…

Fire Penguin Disco Panda

Wouldn’t you be this happy if your name was legally “Fire Penguin Disco Panda?”

Happy Birthday

Either whoever was handling the birth certificate got very confused, or this person’s parents really wanted to wish them a happy first day on earth.

Someone Help Him

Turn that frown upside-down!

Prehistoric Moniker

Tahra Dactyl is pictured here alongside her friends Vello Ciraptor and Dippy Docus.

Where Are The Eggs?

This guy’s favorite meal is 100% breakfast.

Influencer Baby

Hashtag follow this kid all the way to inevitable Instagram stardom.

Clark’s Son

Finally, we have answers… this is Clark’s son.

Chosen Career

It would be worse if he worked in a bakery.

Never Gonna Give You Up

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you…

Just Can’t Keep Up

This teenager from Montgomery, Alabama is notoriously bad at planning things out.

Baby, You Are

This kid is going to be receiving Star Wars-themed gifts for every birthday for the rest of his life.

Metal Man

Uranius Johnson is actually number 92 on the periodic table.

Donald Duck Went Down the Wrong Path

Daisy Duck made an appearance to bail him out.

Gourmet

What’s on the menu for this marketing executive?

Cash Register Noise

In the words of M.I.A., “All I wanna do is and, and, and take your money.”

Watch Out

She does her job extra well.

Dr. Payne

Would you trust this guy rooting around in your mouth?

Very Real Doctor

The Docktor will see you now.

Musical Name

Miss C Sharp is hitting all the notes perfectly!

Toogood For This World

This guy is for sure getting into The Good Place.

Gotta Go Fast

He’s running to escape Doctor Robotnik.

This Dentist B. Pullin

Rachel B. Pullin all your teeth out…

Secret Competitor

Do you think Sam Sung is secretly working for the other team?

Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt

Whoever paired these teachers together should really have considered the consequences.

Mmm, Delicious

Are you… are you sure about that? Are you really sure.

Definitely An Explosion

A change in diet might be something to consider.

Say What?

Well, now that’s just rude.

What Are The Odds

Happy meal, happy life!

He Who Shall Not Be Named

Hopefully he never meets Harry Potter.

A Cold Drink

By the looks of that signature, it seems like maybe he enjoyed a few too many.

Cognitive Dissonance

And with your spirit.

Now That’s A Name

Thankfully, his last name is actually pronounced “Sekwaale.”

Oh No

Revealing too much personal information in one go.

Take Him Seriously

Or face the nasty-smelling consequences.

Getting Creative

To be fair, Jeremy Backhole probably isn’t too thrilled, either.

Whose Boobeh?

Mahboobe is actually a Farsi or Arabic name meaning “beloved” or “valentine.”

The Ultimate Question

Well…is he?

The Fantastic Mr. Butt

Perhaps ART stands for Artificial Rectoscopy Therapy.

Very Funny

Hardy-har-har indeed.

(Yes, That Is Her Legal Name)

Originally, Beautiful Existence actually went by Desiree Longabaughm.

Ben Dover

This guy has definitely been responsible for a couple prank phone calls.

Rollo-Koster Tycoon

Electing the new pope was an emotional Rollo-Koster indeed.

Familiar Feeling

Maybe you’ve seen that name before.

Musical Prodigy

All the great composers wrapped into one!

Not Hungry Anymore

After meeting with this guy, you’re sure to lose your appetite.

Phonebook Tells All

At least it’s in alphabetical order.

Jurassic Park Theme Playing in the Background

Now that’s chaos theory.

Ask Him How He’s Feeling

Someone isn’t looking too happy.

Next on Law & Order: SVU

Sounds like a hell of a drug.

Brewski

Maybe he gets free beer for the promotional aspect.

Just Random Nouns

That moment when you decide to name yourself after your three favorite thing.

No Surcharge!

Especially not if your name is… Sparkle Titsworth.

Laughable Name

Will he Tickel you?

Man of Steel

It’s in your best interests not to mess with this guy.

So Close

Kim Kardashian’s long lost sister, Kim Kashkashian.

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The More You Know

  • For every human on Earth, there are 1.6 million ants.
  • A man sued Pepsi claiming he found a mouse in his Mountain Dew. Pepsi attorneys stated that Mountain Dew will dissolve a mouse in 30 days, and showed his can was purchased 74 days after being manufactured.
  • But the loudest animal relative to its size is a water bug.
  • In one month, the average person consumes about a Lego brick’s worth of microplastic.

Post originally appeared on Upbeat News.