Love and Relationships

Recent Content

Missing Baby Found Buried Alive in Dog Crate After 24 Hours, Sheriff Says

Missing Baby Found Buried Alive in Dog Crate After 24 Hours, Sheriff Says

Post

An 11-month-old taken by his father was found buried in a dog crate in the South Carolina woods. Searchers heard him crying. Here’s what we know.

Young Hollywood Star Was Offered Cocaine at 11 Years Old

Young Hollywood Star Was Offered Cocaine at 11 Years Old

Post

She said no. Now 21, she’s revealing the A-list co-star who made sure she was safe.

FBI Warns Hackers Are Targeting Grocery Store Freezers

FBI Warns Hackers Are Targeting Grocery Store Freezers

Post

Hackers took over supermarket fridges in Europe and cranked them to 122 degrees. France blames Iran, and the FBI is warning U.S. grocers

Freedom Means No Fear

Freedom Means No Fear

Post

Nina Simone defined freedom as the absence of fear. Learn how to spot the fears that quietly run your choices and act against one of them today.

My Coworker Schedules Meetings Without Asking

My Coworker Schedules Meetings Without Asking

Post

Confucius answers a reader whose coworker keeps booking her calendar without a word, with Analects wisdom on courtesy and what we owe each other.

See All Content
logo
  • Success & Leadership
  • Mindfulness & Peace
  • Love & Relationships
  • Personal Growth
  • Creativity & Purpose
  • Resilience & Courage
  • About Us
  • Success & Leadership
  • Mindfulness & Peace
  • Love & Relationships
  • Personal Growth
  • Creativity & Purpose
  • Resilience & Courage
  • About Us
  • ​

Dear Epicurus: My Husband Keeps Buying Better Barbecue Tongs

A row of barbecue tongs hanging by a back door, waiting for Saturday.
Ancient Wisdom, Modern Problem

My Husband Keeps Buying Better Barbecue Tongs

Dear Epicurus,

My husband grills every Saturday at 4 p.m., and he owns seven pairs of tongs. I counted them on the hook by the back door. One is for burgers, one is for corn, and one has a bottle opener on the handle. Last night he showed me an eighth pair with a tiny built-in light and said it was a bargain. The light, he explained, is for dusk. We grill at 4 p.m. Am I wrong to be baffled?

— Tong-Tied in Tulsa

Epicurus Replies

Epicurus, Greek philosopher and founder of the Garden school in Athens (341 to 270 BC)

Dear Tong-Tied in Tulsa,

My dear Tong-Tied in Tulsa, I admire a man who loves his Saturday fire. Seven pairs of tongs is a collection, and eight would be a small school. But I suspect you did not really write to me about tongs. You wrote about a hunger that tongs will never feed, and I can tell you how to stop feeding it.

In my Garden, we kept our wants small on purpose. A wanting that never finishes is a kind of poverty, however full the hook by your door. I put it plainly in the Vatican Sayings: "Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little." Your husband is not greedy. He is chasing the feeling of a perfect Saturday, and he keeps believing the next tool holds it.

Notice what he actually enjoys: the fire, the smell of dinner, you on the patio, a friend with a cold drink. None of it needs batteries. So do not argue about the tongs. Ask him to name the one pair he grabs without thinking. Praise that pair out loud, then ask what the eighth could do that it cannot. Pleasure grows when you notice what you already have. Wanting grows when you do not.

This week, hang only his favorite pair by the door and move the other six to a drawer. Then, on Saturday, sit down and eat with him while the food is hot. If the little light still tempts him in a month, let him buy it. A man who has chosen enough may add one more.

— Epicurus

In Epicurus's Own Words

“Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.”

— Epicurus, Vatican Sayings

This line comes from the Vatican Sayings, a collection of short sayings attributed to Epicurus that survived in a manuscript later found in the Vatican Library. In it, Epicurus argues that happiness depends on limiting our desires, since a wish that grows every time it is met can never be satisfied. It still fits any modern household where the want for one more gadget outruns the pleasure of the ones already owned.

Who Was Epicurus?

Epicurus was born on the island of Samos in 341 BC and later settled in Athens, where he founded a philosophical community known as the Garden. He taught that the best life is built on simple pleasures, close friendships, and freedom from needless worry. Most of his many writings are lost. What remains comes to us through a few surviving letters, collections of sayings such as the Vatican Sayings, and later writers who admired him. He died in 270 BC, and people still read him for his calm case that having enough is a kind of wealth.

Try This Today

Pick one thing you own in multiples, such as pens, mugs, or tongs, and choose your single favorite. Use only that one for the next seven days. Notice whether you miss the others. Then write down one sentence about why the favorite earned its spot. Chances are the answer has more to do with how it feels in your hand than with what it can do.

Your Turn

What is one thing you already own that gives you real pleasure, and how often do you stop to notice it?

MINDFULNESS AND PEACE
CONTENTMENT
SIMPLICITY

Letters are composites written by the Lifted Words editors. Replies are written in the spirit of each thinker; the quote in the blue box is their own.

Terms and ConditionsDo Not Sell or Share My Personal InformationPrivacy PolicyPrivacy NoticeAccessibility NoticeUnsubscribe
Copyright © 2026 Inspirational Quotes