In Epictetus's Own Words
“Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.”
— Epictetus, Enchiridion, 5
This line opens a section of the Enchiridion where Epictetus explains that events themselves are neutral; it is our judgments about them that cause distress, as proven by the fact that the same event troubles one person and not another. He meant it to free students from blaming the world for their inner turmoil. It applies neatly to any modern grievance we keep replaying rather than releasing.
Who Was Epictetus?
Epictetus was born enslaved in Hierapolis, later freed, and became one of Rome's most respected Stoic teachers before Emperor Domitian banished philosophers from the city, sending him to Nicopolis in Greece. He wrote nothing himself; his student Arrian recorded his teachings in the Discourses and the short handbook called the Enchiridion. His core idea, that we control our judgments but not external events, remains a foundation of modern cognitive therapy.
Try This Today
Next time someone repeats your idea in a meeting, resist the urge to seethe silently. Instead, calmly restate your original point in one sentence, then let it go for the rest of the day. Notice how much lighter you feel by lunchtime compared to days when you kept replaying it in your head.
Your Turn
What is one workplace annoyance you keep reliving long after the meeting itself has ended?
Letters are composites written by the Lifted Words editors. Replies are written in the spirit of each thinker; the quote in the blue box is their own.